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Thursday, December 16, 2010
Its almost Christmas
And I can't wait! Patrick comes home Monday. I buy his present tuesday. Pick up moms present sometime next week. Ahhh. I'm so excited.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I just want things to work out. I haven't talked to Patrick since earlier tonight. We didnt exactly make up yet. So clearly, I can't sleep. I have been texting him, but no answer :/ I just want to fix everything. Everything that happened tonight, all of our fighting, i just want us to be happy. But it seems like all we do is fight. Still. I hate when we fight.
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Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I feel about this big right now..
I have never felt like this, ever. I feel like the tiniest baby aunt in a big scary place, trying to find my way over obstacles and rocks to get back to my safe place. I know that to get there I have to get over the obstacles. The obstacles being my flaws, attitudes, and whatnot. I just don't know how to do it. I figure that it will take a while to get it right and find it.
All of the things that Patrick talked to me about tonight brought up all of the feelings I've had about myself for a while. I feel like I'm different, like I'm not the same person I was a year and a half ago. I mean, not everything he said related to this, but some of it did. I feel like I have grown somewhat cold. I don't know exactly where I took a wrong turn, but I guess I have to backtrack to find out...
Sometimes I feel like this relationship just keeps going through the same things, over and over. Sometimes I feel like its not working. I feel like I just want to give up sometimes. Right now I don't see that light at the end of the ongoing dark tunnel that I'm in. I just don't feel like when we do try to make things better, that it ever works.
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