Ahhh cramps, I hate you.

I had a bad day. Really. I woke up at 6am and had to pee like a mad woman. So I went upstairs to pee. Got back in bed and fell asleep rather quickly. I woke up later around 10 am and ate breakfast. Sat around while I was supposed to be cleaning and finally got around to cleaning my room long after I woke up. I got my period and then the cramps came on. I ignored them and kept cleaning. After a while my mom told me that Oswaldo and Norma (Jenny's, my best friend's, parents) were hungry. So we decided to go out to eat at Sagebrush. I drove myself and met her parents, my mom, and Jody there. We got hot wings and then they brought us a complimentary dessert. I was craving chocolate so bad and the dessert just happened to be the brownie sundae thing they have. I had a few bites of it and left the 6 or 7 wings I had left on my plate. I started feeling sick and I went to the bathroom. After hanging over the toilet for nothing, I went back to the table and sat down. I felt awful again and told my mom I was leaving. She said I looked bad and I left. I got to my truck and sat down. I got the feeling that I was going to throw up so I opened the door and leaned out. I finally decided to get out and I threw up in the parking lot. I called my mom, who was still inside, and told her. They all came out and made sure I was okay to drive home. I finally got back to the house and I have been lounging around watching tv and thinking about stuff. I feel very emotional. I am mad that I threw up, it really makes me angry. I'm not sure why. I really miss Patrick. I just want him home, now. I want him here with me. I want him to be laying here with me, with his arms around me, making me feel better. I miss him more than anything and I hate not being near him. I miss having someone to talk to about every little stupid thing that pops into my head. I don't want anyone else to tell those things to either. I don't like telling other people every thing that I think about. That is why I email him constantly, just to tell him something that happened to me, or something stupid that I just want to rant about, or just because I'm lonely. I do have a few, and I mean very few, friends to talk to about stuff. But I don't like telling people how I feel. That is why I blog, because I have to get this stuff out somehow. Patrick is the only person that I can really tell everything to because most of the time, especially on the phone, I know he isn't paying attention to half of the things I say. I really wish I could just sleep away the time until he comes back. Which is like forever. I can't sleep at all. I feel awful. I want to die right now, my cramps are so bad.