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I have not blogged in such a long time. I feel like I need to start again, to let some of that stuff hidden deep down inside of me out. I don't really have much to complain about today. Technically nothing went wrong to make my day bad. I'm just lonely. Really lonely. Sometimes I feel perfectly okay, but the past few days have been miserable. I hate being alone. I know that I'm not really alone. I live in a house with 4 other people, I go to school and talk to people. Its not the same though. I really hate that Patrick is never here. It sucks that if I want to see him I either have to drive 5 hours there or he has to drive 5 hours here.
I had such a good weekend with him. Going to Boone, him cooking me dinner, being together pretty much every second of the weekend. Then he has to leave, and I have to wait two weeks to see him again. It really sucks that this is how our entire relationship has been. We spend more time apart than together. I don't mean this like I don't think it's worth it. I just don't think it's fair. I know life is not fair, but I don't really care. I really do love Patrick with all my heart. It's just hard. It's hard missing him all the time and not getting to see him.
While I'm on the subject of loneliness, I do not believe that loneliness is a good excuse for cheating on someone. I could go a year without seeing Patrick(crossing my fingers that this never happens) and I don't think I could look at someone else the same way as I do him. So anyone that says that is full of crap.
Okay, I'm done ranting. Goodnight.