oh, cramps

Today, I am laying in my bed. I woke up early because of cramps. So I got a shower, dried and pinned my hair up, got dressed, and waited. I thought Patrick would be here sooner. But while I wait, with my cramps and my giant Hershey bar, I am just laying in bed listening to my iPod and sucking on this Hershey bar. I hope these cramps go away, I could just die right now.

Yesterday, I had a picnic with Patrick at the park in Valdese with the water fall. It was cute and I had fun with him. I am really going to miss him when he leaves. Maybe I should hold him hostage and not let him leave. Anyway, after we finished galavanting around the woods we came back to my house and watched the dumbest movie I've ever seen in my life. Patrick liked it, but of course he would like the most pointless movie in the world. Then we watched All About Steve. I liked it, mostly because I LOVE Sandra Bullock. I took Patrick home and when I was on my way home I heard this song on the radio. I have no clue what it was, or who sang it. I don't even remember what radio station was on. It made me think about Patrick and it made me cry.

Well, I think it's time to get back to my Hershey Bar and my sleep. Hopefully my cramps go away soon, because I don't want to be cranky today.

Put your arms around me

What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful. Do you wanna get married, or run away?

I haven't felt the way I feel right now in a while. Actually, I don't think I've ever felt like this. I feel completely and truly happy. Everything is amazing and perfect. This past week I have smiled more than I have in a long time. Patrick makes me feel happy. He's my best friend. Even when I'm mad at him I have to smile, and try to hide it from him so he takes me seriously. We have spent a lot of time together within the past week and I am loving it. He comes over here some nights and keeps me company, until 2 am when my mom makes him leave. Those nights usually consist of us hanging out in my room. Watching tv and cuddling. Patrick giving me cute little kisses all over my face and making me smile. Then I think of a story that I haven't told him yet, surprisingly with how much I talk, and he falls asleep while I tell him. Shortly after my stories 2 am rolls around and Patrick tucks me into bed, kisses me good night and leaves. I can finally drive my car now, so this morning I went to his house around 9ish and woke him up from his cute sleeping on the floor. But instead of him actually getting up, I got pulled to the floor. His mom made breakfast, while the two of us cuddled on the floor and watched Lord of the Rings. But I slept through most of it. I really enjoyed this morning. I love just being with Patrick and not doing anything at all.

Today Patrick told me about the first time I told him I loved him. Which was actually a while ago, while I was in the transitioning stage of breaking up with someone else. I didn't remember this conversation when he was telling me about it, but I think I'm starting to remember a little bit of it. I just don't remember tell him I loved him. I guess I did though.

I am really going to miss all of this when he leaves. It makes me feel so sad. I just want him to stay here. I just hate when he has to leave at all. Like when he stays here all night and has to leave at 2. I hate that and I wish he could just stay with me all night and hold my hand or put his arms around me while I sleep. Its worse though, knowing that I won't be able to hold his hand for over half of a year. I don't know why I like holding hands so much, but my favorite thing in the world is holding his hand.

Christmas

This year, Christmas was great. I got an amazing ring from Patrick, I bought him a cute ring and took him out for dinner(well, he drove. I paid.) He came over to eat with us this afternoon, then hung out until I finished getting ready and we went to his family thing. I had fun, I always enjoy going over there. I finally have my computer, and I am so happy. Now all I want is my ring back. But I guess I can wait another month...maybe. I want it back though, because I really want to wear it.

I have felt sick all night. I've just been laying on the couch, I fell asleep earlier. Now I can't sleep at all.

My grandparents are leaving in the morning. Then Patrick is coming over. I'm happy about that.

I guess I am going to try to sleep on this uncomfortable couch. Goodnight.

Perfect:)

Today, has been the best day I've had in a long time. Patrick came home today and I was so happy. I was taking a nap, and he came in my room and woke me up. I missed him so much. More than anything. Then we went to Aunt Lena's house and he gave me my Christmas present early. It was the most beautiful promise ring. It is amazing and I absolutely love it. I knew what it was, but it just blew my mind how awesome it was. I definitely didn't expect that it would be like that. Patrick had to leave to go see his mom, but tomorrow we are going to get my ring sized and I don't know what else. I love him :)

It's the most wonderful time of the year:)

Patrick is coming home in a few days, me and my momma made crepes at midnight tonight, and it's almost Christmas!

Everything is perfect. I love life. I love winter. I love Christmas. I love being happy. I love Patrick. I love my mommy. I love crepes. I love staying up all night and sleeping all day. I love listening to Cristmas music all the time. I love the cold, crisp winter air. I love the though of it snowing. I love the Christmas tree. I love taking pictures. I love everything.

But I think I am more excited about seeing Patrick than anything. That is all I want. I wish it were Monday.

"Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for. I just want to see my baby standing right outside my door. Oh I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. Baby all I want for Christmas is you."

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

In my house...finally!

We put up the Christmas tree today, and I am excited.

I also got to talk to my cute boyfriend for a little bit today. I am starting to get anxious about what my Christmas present is. I usually don't care, because I can wait, but this is just bugging me now. I want it to be Christmas NOW. Actually I just want it to be Friday so that I can see Patrick. Thats the only thing that really matters to me right now.

I feel so gross today. I'm breaking out, kind of. My hair looks awful. I have been wearing the same ugly, green sweat pants around the house for two days and I wore them to my exam today. Patrick should be here, to sit on the couch with me while I take my latin exam and fail it miserably(and by miserably I mean a 36%). We could be drinking coffee and watching cute movies. But we are not, because he is 5 hours away and I'm on my couch.

One more exam tomorrow... Art. It will be easy as pie, and then I'm done until January 6th. :)

Everything is going my way

And that's exactly how I like it.

The fortune from my fortune cookie I got last week totally turned my life, or at least my attitude on life, around. :)

I got to talk to Patrick earlier today, and no one on earth can even begin to imagine how happy that made me. I was smiling from ear to ear.

I can't even wait to see him. I am going to burst with excitement. I need to find something to do this week to make it fly by, because I don't know how much longer I can stand it. My impatience is getting the best of me.

5 more days...please hurry.

I didn't know that I could miss someone so much. I love LOVE, and I love Patrick. So everything is perfect.

Love, love, love, love, love. I love everything. That's a lie. I hate a lot of things. Like mushrooms, mean people, and frizzy hair. I also hate 80's plaid orange couches, Robin Thicke, and seeing cute couples out when I can't even talk to my boyfriend. I'm trying to figure out how this turned into a love/hate blog.

To make sense of what I'm trying to say, Patrick is perfect and I love him. I'm in love and I'm happy. I don't want to jinx this and have something horrible happen, but this is the kind of thing I want to last forever.

Maybe I should quit blogging before I get to mushy. I am just so happy and everything feels perfect.

Irritated

It really pisses me off that he is being like that. That is basically why we broke up. But other than it pissing me off that I thought maybe he wouldn't be jerk, I'm just peachy.

I don't want to come back to school tonight to do my presentation. I just want Patrick to be home, and I want to be with him. Somewhere that I can get away from school and computers and everything annoying.

I am so ugly today. I fell asleep last night and didn't wake up until 7:40. So I changed pants, put a clean shirt and hoodie on(both Patrick's Marine ones), and left my hair the way it was. I still have the same make up on from last night when I went to hickory. I'm ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly!

I don't usually ever feel this ugly. I don't know what is wrong with me.

oh, and I got this awesome fortune cookie last night that said, "happiness starts with facing life with a smile and a wink."

So, Life... ;)

I miss blogging. And I miss my boyfriend. So many things have happened this week and I haven't been able to blog about it. too bad I can't remember what it is.

So much to do, so little time

This semester needs to end... NOW please.

I talked to Cody the other day, on gmail of course. After that one day of being nice, he won't answer me now. I'm definitely not going to bug him until he talks to me, because I don't care. He can be like that if he wants to.

My dad called one weekend, like 2 weeks ago. And my sister was emailing me. He never called back and she quit emailing me.

Guys are jerks.

Anyway. It's raining, and I don't like it.

AND I don't want to do my presentation tomorrow.

I saw this guy that looked like patrick from a distance and my heart melted a little bit, until i woke up from my day dreaming and realized it wasnt him.

Some guy my mom dated just IMed her on Facebook and asked her if she was still a sexy B****. Hahahahahahaha please.
Patrick<3

I hope I don't have another dream like the one I had last night. It pisses me off.

Chinchilla

This is what I want for Christmas, more than anything.
I want him to be this color.

This senoir project..

it's stressing me out!!
On the bright side, I'm almost finished with it. Even though I don't have an interview. I'll call someone tonight...
All I have left to do is put my forms on my website, and then I'm done. Well, other than the presentation, but I still have a week until that.
I haven't talked to Patrick in a few days, and I miss him. I really really really really really hope he will be here for Christmas.
:(

Worst Day of my life

Well, I should say night. Last night was horrible once I got home and went to bed. Before that i was thinking about Patrick leaving and Aunt Lena was talking about it. I was over at their house yesterday for a little while. I picked up the two presesnts that me and Patrick are going to give Zoey and Z. I also got my delicious cake that I left over there last week. Then we started talking about Patrick. I got a little upset, and I don't cry in front of people so when I knew I could start crying at any moment I left. Then I went to pick up Patrick's present, stopped at TCBY to see Billy and Frank, and then went home. I watched the Victoria Secret fashion show until it went off around 11, turned off the lights, and went to bed. I fell asleep easily, but I had the worst dream. This guy kept trying to kill me, and no one would believe me. I woke up crying, and then I just kept crying. When I fell back to sleep the dream started back where it left off(this happened quite a few times.) I think that was the most graphic dream I've had about someone trying to kill me. It was the scariest one. So basically, I got no sleep. I have puffy eyes now and I look like crap.

I'm laying in bed, bundled up in all of patrick's clothes. :( I feel pathetic.

I hate math and I give up. I'm not doing any more.

And Lauren is a freak that keeps her room clean.

My mind just goes blank

like it did yesterday when I was practicing my presentation. Haha... woops. Everything I had in there just went away and I was left thinking, "Nooo, come back."


I slept better last night, Patrick called me. I'm starting to think that I don't sleep well when we don't talk. I miss him. I wish he was home already. And I wish I could hear him when he calls, instead of every two words.


I ordered a new computer yesterday. Mine is BROKE :( and Clint said it would be better to just buy a new computer. So I found one on sale for Cyber Monday and I told mom thats what I wanted for Christmas, so she put it on her credit card, and I have to pay for part of it since it was a little expensive. And that is the computer I got, a green Dell inspiron 15. It's so beautiful. I can't have it until Christmas though. I wish it would hurry up and get here. That reminds me that I have to go pick up Patrick's present soon. I've had forever to do it, I've just been too lazy and

I spent too much money on Black Friday. So I didn't have enough to pay for the rest of it. I get paid monday though.. But next week I am definitely going to get it.