Put your arms around me

What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful. Do you wanna get married, or run away?

I haven't felt the way I feel right now in a while. Actually, I don't think I've ever felt like this. I feel completely and truly happy. Everything is amazing and perfect. This past week I have smiled more than I have in a long time. Patrick makes me feel happy. He's my best friend. Even when I'm mad at him I have to smile, and try to hide it from him so he takes me seriously. We have spent a lot of time together within the past week and I am loving it. He comes over here some nights and keeps me company, until 2 am when my mom makes him leave. Those nights usually consist of us hanging out in my room. Watching tv and cuddling. Patrick giving me cute little kisses all over my face and making me smile. Then I think of a story that I haven't told him yet, surprisingly with how much I talk, and he falls asleep while I tell him. Shortly after my stories 2 am rolls around and Patrick tucks me into bed, kisses me good night and leaves. I can finally drive my car now, so this morning I went to his house around 9ish and woke him up from his cute sleeping on the floor. But instead of him actually getting up, I got pulled to the floor. His mom made breakfast, while the two of us cuddled on the floor and watched Lord of the Rings. But I slept through most of it. I really enjoyed this morning. I love just being with Patrick and not doing anything at all.

Today Patrick told me about the first time I told him I loved him. Which was actually a while ago, while I was in the transitioning stage of breaking up with someone else. I didn't remember this conversation when he was telling me about it, but I think I'm starting to remember a little bit of it. I just don't remember tell him I loved him. I guess I did though.

I am really going to miss all of this when he leaves. It makes me feel so sad. I just want him to stay here. I just hate when he has to leave at all. Like when he stays here all night and has to leave at 2. I hate that and I wish he could just stay with me all night and hold my hand or put his arms around me while I sleep. Its worse though, knowing that I won't be able to hold his hand for over half of a year. I don't know why I like holding hands so much, but my favorite thing in the world is holding his hand.