8 months

Depression is beginning to work its way into my day already.

Friday night I stayed at Aunt Lena's house. We woke up at 3 in the morning to get showers and whatnot, and we left the house around 5 am. We packed our stuff in the car and started driving to Jacksonville, NC to see Patrick. It was a LONG drive, a little over 5 hours. When we got there Patrick met us at the hotel and we went to eat at O'Charley's. He really pissed me off right before this, while we were in his jeep. I was wearing sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a jacket. He asked me if I was going to change and I don't remember exactly how he said it, but it sounded really rude. So for part of our lunch I didn't talk to him. He kept leaning over telling me he loved and that I was pretty and stuff. After that I had to talk to him. I spent the rest of the day with him. We got his head shaved, because it looked awful the way it was shaved, and now it just looks funny. But it's still cute. That night we went to see The Tooth Fairy. It was such a cute movie. After the movie I helped him pack, well kind of. I slept more than anything. We had to wake up really early and put everything in his jeep. We stood around for a little while, and I held back my tears the entire time until he really had to leave. I couldn't hold them in anymore. I hugged and kissed him goodbye for the last time for 8 months. That was the hardest thing in the world, watching him walk away knowing I won't see him again for a long time. When we left we got lost on base and it took forever to find our way out. After another long drive we made it back to Aunt Lena's house. I got in my car and drove home in the rain. After I got a shower and got ready, I went to work. On my way there I cried the whole time. Everytime I changed the song on my iPod it was either a song that reminded me of Patrick or a song that he would sing when it came on. When i got to work me and Wayne were talking about Patrick. I told him that 8 months was a long time, and he said that if its something that I think is going to last forever then it really isn't a long time. He is kind of right. I still miss him more than anything though and of course I am worried. I don't think anyone wants their boyfriend going somewhere for 8 months knowing that they are going to be shot at. That is what upsets me the most. I will be alright though, I just have to pray and try not to worry. I can do that.